Marriage of Jesse Chan and Betty Lo Kuchiam (1957)
Overview
Jesse Chan and Betty Lo Kuchiam (Jovita) married in 1957 in Manila, Philippines, following traditional Chinese customs. Their marriage united two families who had both survived World War II displacement and created a family that would span three countries over the next six decades.
The Engagement (1956)
Timing Constraints
Betty’s father Benito Lo Kuchiam died in 1956 after Betty’s college graduation. Chinese tradition dictated:
- Must get engaged within 100 days of father’s death, OR
- Wait two years to get engaged
The family chose to have Betty engage quickly, within the 100-day window.
Traditional Chinese Engagement Ceremony
Very, very Chinese style according to Betty:
Groom’s Family Brought:
- Diamonds
- Jade jewelry
- 24 pieces of cloth
- Rolex watch for Betty
- Cash
All of Jesse’s uncles and aunts came bearing these gifts in formal procession.
Bride’s Family Gave:
- Suiting material for Jesse
- Rolex watch for Jesse
- Cash
Ceremony:
- All guests were served noodle soup with boiled eggs
- This was traditional engagement feast
One Year Engagement
After the engagement in 1956, the couple waited one year before marrying in 1957.
The Courtship
The “Happy Dreamers” Club
Jesse and Betty’s relationship began through the “Happy Dreamers” social club in Manila:
- Jesse was friends with Betty’s two older brothers (Uncle George and Uncle Henry)
- Jesse, George, Henry, and Patrick would gather as a group
- Betty’s house was the “party house” where the group met
Betty’s Shyness
During the courtship years:
- Jesse would visit Betty’s house regularly
- Betty never talked to him - she would “just stay upstairs and study”
- Betty was very shy and studious
- Betty was not allowed to mingle with the boys - too young
Strict Rules
- Betty finished college at age 16 (high school at age 12 - Philippines had no junior high)
- Betty could not go out with Jesse until age 21
- Even at 21, Betty could only go out with Jesse if her two brothers came as chaperones
- Betty was “not allowed to go out with him alone”
Dating Activities (After Betty Turned 21)
When finally allowed to date with chaperones:
- Dancing - Jesse was an excellent dancer
- People would stop dancing to watch Jesse dance
- Jesse learned to dance in Shanghai from friend’s sister
- Jesse taught Betty how to dance
- Eating out at restaurants
- Spanish music venues - Jesse loved the music, they would sit, eat, and listen to Spanish singers
The Wedding (1957)
Details to be Documented
- Specific date within 1957
- Location (church or traditional venue?)
- Number of guests
- Traditional Chinese wedding customs followed
- Whether Spanish or Filipino customs also incorporated
Early Marriage
Living Arrangements
After marriage, Jesse and Betty lived in Santa Mesa compound:
- 60 people lived in the compound
- Four generations: great-grandma, grandma, parents, children
- Multiple buildings/apartment units
- “Big compound” with different family branches
- “Scary for a new bride” according to Betty
Both Working
- Jesse: Purchasing Manager at Eastern Textile Factory
- Betty: Payroll Supervisor at Eastern Textile Factory
- Unusual for both spouses to work at same factory in management roles
Starting Family
First child Rose born 1960 at Santa Mesa compound, followed by:
- Meg (1963)
- Louis (1965)
- Michelle (1968 in Taiwan)
The Marriage
Partnership
Jesse and Betty worked as partners:
- Both worked at Eastern Textile Factory
- Both relocated to Taipei (1968-1990)
- Betty managed some businesses (bakery) in Taiwan
- Jesse described as “The General” - ultimate authority
- Betty described herself as “tyrant mother” - day-to-day management
- Traditional gender roles but shared goals
Duration
58+ years together (1957 to at least 2015, Betty’s 80th birthday)
Four Children, Eight Grandchildren
All four children:
- Received scholarships to US universities
- Achieved professional success
- Maintained close family bonds
Eight grandchildren including:
- Nicholas Loui, Ryan Loui, Samantha Loui (through Rose)
- Five more through other children
Personality Compatibility
From interview:
- Jesse: “over brave,” confrontational, entrepreneurial, social
- Betty: devout Catholic, studious, organized, musical
- Long courtship (years before allowed to date)
- Opposite personalities but complementary
Historical Context
Post-War Marriage
Both Jesse and Betty were WWII survivors:
- Jesse: Survived Japanese occupation in China, befriended colonel, hid in caves
- Betty: Fled Japanese invasion in Philippines, hid in forest caves, witnessed liberation
Their marriage united two families who had:
- Survived extreme displacement
- Lost property to Japanese forces
- Rebuilt lives in post-war Philippines
- Maintained Chinese cultural identity in Filipino context
Chinese-Filipino Community
Marriage represented:
- Established Chinese business community in Manila
- Traditional Chinese customs (engagement ceremony, compound living)
- Integration with Filipino culture (Tagalog language, social clubs)
- Maintained Chinese identity while living in Philippines
Economic Partnership
The marriage enabled:
- Both to work at prestigious factory
- Pooled incomes for children’s expensive education
- Multiple business ventures in Taiwan
- Investment in next generation (all four children got scholarships)
Significance
Family Foundation
This marriage created the Chan family that would:
- Span three countries (Philippines, Taiwan, USA)
- Produce four highly educated children
- Connect to Loui family through Rose’s marriage to Warren
- Create eight grandchildren with Chinese-Filipino-American heritage
Cultural Preservation
Jesse and Betty maintained:
- Traditional Chinese engagement ceremony (1956)
- Chinese family compound living
- Filipino language and culture
- Catholic faith (Betty’s tradition)
- Chinese diaspora identity
Educational Legacy
From this marriage came emphasis on education:
- Jesse sacrificed his own college so brothers could attend
- Jesse and Betty worked hard to afford expensive Taipei American School
- All four children received US university scholarships
- Pattern of educational investment across generations
Survival to Success
Both survivors of WWII displacement:
- Built successful careers in Manila
- Created multiple successful businesses in Taiwan
- Raised four accomplished children
- Maintained 58+ year marriage across multiple countries
In Their Own Words
Betty on early courtship:
- “I just stay upstairs and study. Never, never come to talk with us.”
- “Not allowed to mingle with them.”
- “Not allowed to go out with him alone.”
Betty on engagement:
- “Got engaged in very, very Chinese style.”
- “Scary for a new bride” (living in 60-person compound)
Jesse on dating:
- “I talked to the two brothers” (not Betty initially)
- “I bring her to the party and dancing.”
- Taught Betty how to dance
Betty on Jesse:
- Called him “The General”
- “You’re brave, not bad” (after Jesse’s heroic acts)
- “Over brave” (took risks)
Research Questions
- Exact wedding date in 1957
- Wedding location and ceremony details
- Wedding photos exist?
- How many guests attended?
- Which family members attended from Jesse’s side?
- Filipino customs incorporated alongside Chinese?
- When did they move from compound to own house?
- How long did Betty wait upstairs before talking to Jesse?
- How did Jesse initially become friends with Betty’s brothers?
This marriage united two WWII survivor families and began the Chan family line that would span Philippines, Taiwan, and the United States over three generations.